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User:djswifty (475439)
You can't move a mountain with a book of plans.
No more! No more sad clams!
Name:Very Rare Bear
Website:Destructo
Location:Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts, United States
Birthdate:1981-11-20
LJ Talk:
AOL IM:AIM status fourtrack hero (Add Buddy, Send Message)
ICQ UIN:ICQ status 285689054 (User Profile)
Bio:This journal has become the number one site on Google for "adorable kittens." Please adjust your respect of me accordingly.
This is no longer true. I am crushed.
2/9/06: [info]nightecho points out that I am again number one. I do not know how I can help to keep myself there, but while it is still true, I consider my life charmed.
1/10/08: This journal is both the fourth Google hit for "adorable kittens," and, now, for "you can't hold ten pokemon". I love being alive all the fucking time and that is a fact that you can cut and print.


"Stephen Swift was running for his life. 20 feet into the trees and he was completely lost. The ground was uneven and stony, and the tangle weed slowed him down everytime he thought he was clear. A bad step locked his foot under a root and he went down hard, bashing his elbow against a sharp rock. He laid still listening for movement, but only hearing the blood rushing thru his ears. He was bleeding. Sharp leaves had cut him as he ran, and now the cuts were stinging as his salty sweat made contact with the blood. He laid there for an hour to be sure. He sat up, and got a cramp in his leg. He forced it straight and stood up.

It was then he saw Captain Crunch. His body had been painted black and white like a skeleton. His eyes were bloodshot and fixed as he surveyed Stephen from behind his greasepaint. 'Kathryn asked me to bring you back safely.'

'Kathryn?' said Swifty, suddenly very relieved 'Oh thank ghod.'

The Captain performed minor first aid, putting Stephen's arm in a sling, and told him to follow as best he could. After an hour he asked, 'Captain, why are we heading deeper into the jungle? Shouldn't we go to the beach?'

'Captain?' said the Captain. 'My name is Joe.'
Swifty's blood froze in his veins."
- The Invincible John 13




The troll picks up an elven broadsword named Orcrist.

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          ###                   ##..............#####       # #    #
           ########?(=###       # |[..(........|             ##    #
            ##         -|--- #####.....>.....).|            ###    #
       - ----.----     |...| ##   |............|            #--.---#
       |..........     |....###   --------------            #|....|#
       |.........|    #..(.|#                               #|....|#
       |.........-#####|..^.#                               #|....|#
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Swifty the Woman-at-arms    St:25 Dx:15 Co:18 In:8 Wi:13 Ch:7  Neutral
Dlvl:9  $:10474 HP:111(111) Pw:35(35) AC:-3 Xp:13/42927 Satiated Burdened



Projects
Destructo.org
Destructo (the game) FAQ
Polybius
The Tiny Media Empire
MC Copulation
Drunk at Prom

Haunt Me, Haunt Me, Do It Again
Flickr
43 Things
Audioscrobbler
Memories:40 entries
Interests:41: achewood.com, animated gifs, anna karenina, anticon, beat happening, coffee, crossword puzzles, david berman, debian linux, destructo, don caballero, douglas coupland, drawing angry ducks, dungeons and dragons, feminism, final fantasy tactics, forthrightness, george saunders, haruki murakami, home recording, k records, kapp'n singing about cucumbers, lightning bolt, matador records, nethack, nickd's crotch interests, responsibility through belligerence, rick moody, shitty dance music, shitty dancing to music, short fiction, snow, storm and stress, the microphones, the somerville chant, twin peaks, unexpected paradigm shifts, vegetarianism, xiu xiu, yelling with excitement, yo la tengo
Schools:None listed
Friends:
People267:5500, 572mg, _glass_house_, _opiatesummer, abecedario, aftershocks, afx, agitated, ahatefulheart, alicke, allegraslade, amphiskios, angryinsomnia, anthonylpatch, antimarx, astro_djetence, asynchronic, bainard, bangalores, beatonna, believeordeny, billswasted, bitterbuffalo, black_birds, blackisgreenis, bostonisburning, bowery, breadfactory, britishmike, buffalojenn, bunnysuit, cafemolo66, capn_special, ce_soir, ceasetoexist, cftpaforever, cgoldfish, chaos_are_me, cheesedip, chirpasee, christychristy, citruspeel, commixture, commonreader, complainey_sez, crowhurst, curseintongues, danhernandez, davemiller, dayan, deadbatteries, deliciouslemons, denali_99755, destroyerzooey, diazanon, disblfsuspender, diskothiq, dixmix, djayenzyme, djbits, djdoublejump, donutgirl, dosfart, dreams_of_rain, drfaust, duploguy, durundal, ecentromatic, eclaireassuch, eoin12345abc, explody, fallow, ferociouswalk, fhwqhgads, finalcut, fineprint, fisting_is_emo, flaphappy, flashlight___, flumelove, forlovenotmoney, fuckall_yall, futuredave, gangsterlean, george_w_bush, georgy, ghostchildren, gimpyhtml, girlpulaski, grahamlovesdick, half_pint, haloform, handsomekenny, haughty_hottie, heartstack, heck, helloinsomnia, helloreplace, heroin__eyes, hissy, horridtruth, hotcuppajoe, hounded, i_still_unravel, iggadigga, imomus, indierokken, instereo, internetnoodles, itsanej, iusetheinternet, jackflaps, jaguarpixie, jeniac, jennheifer, jmmartin19, jwgh, katura, kfan, kid_philosopher, kingdodongo, kingofthefrogs, kitchenette, la_soledad, lalalaini, larchman, layeredshapes, leahbunny, leeleebee31, liestation, likeanorchestra, lilybrooke, linzznil, livingluster, longlines, loopbliss, losinginterest, lost_insolitude, lostinarden, lovenmitt, lovertits, mackstar34424, madflowr, magnadoodle, mail_a_knee, mama_berlin, mapscomic, marginalutility, marijun, marty_mcfly, melchapelle, mellidori, mellosonic, mercuryglass, millaniow, mini_rape, moireach, moochiepop, mourningbelle, mterry, murphybed, nakdsweatee, natural_20, nerdling, neverheardaword, nickdiscredit, nightburglar, nightecho, nolongerfurtive, normallife, noun, novaeris, oedipamaas, okayokay, oneyearago, onlyjudah, openquotes, parvax, patrick_bateman, peachlette, pekingspring, philopian_tubes, plasticperson, pleasehow, plitter, polishq, prestonface, probertson, puffybush, pushupstairs, queen_geek, radioheadgirl, ragingimpotence, rainwaterglass, rakugo_report, ratpaws, redrobotcat, rockcandi182, rollerboogie, runtothefloor, ruxxell, sailors_fate, saintboniface, saltsoda, sasafrast, saucypunk, scattergrrrl, scottbateman, shaxxon, shipbuilding, shmian, shmivejournal, showerofstars, sixfoot6000, sixsixsex, skammmy, skrilla, slackest, snowtoes, soakingsympathy, soapier, somersault, sourpuss, spanishbombs, stephendidit, strep2kocal, sunsquashed, superadvancepet, supergeorgina, surefire128, sweetjoeymac, taciturnly, teethteethteeth, thartek, thatgirlmaria, thatsnotmatty, theherocomplex, thejenturner, thetathx1138, theyloveyou, tightropes, tiltawhirl, tiniestbubbles, toddcast, topothesia, toppermost, torridly, trilobite, trisloth, umeggles, unalaska, upthestairs, verlaine, vicksen, vixenangel, wazroth, whorential, whysogreen, willowshines, withtheknife, xcooterx, xtine, xwish4wingsx, xxxmikexxx, yeahhsowhat, yosephy, yugoplastika
Communities8:86prettyphotos, baaaaabyanimals, blackcats, girlie_sketch, handmadebooks, kittypix, lj_maintenance, mass_townies
Feeds6:achewoodblogs, askmrralph, jerkcity, millionsofbees, overheardnyc, waferbaby
Friend of:252: 5500, _glass_house_, _opiatesummer, abecedario, agitated, ahatefulheart, alicke, altair99, amcmsc, amphiskios, annafauna, anthonylpatch, antimarx, astro_djetence, asynchronic, bainard, believeordeny, billswasted, bitterbuffalo, black_birds, blackisgreenis, bowery, breadfactory, britishmike, buffalojenn, bunnysuit, cafemolo66, capn_special, ce_soir, ceasetoexist, cgoldfish, chaos_are_me, cheesedip, chirpasee, christychristy, citruspeel, commixture, commonreader, complainey_sez, crowhurst, curseintongues, danhernandez, davemiller, dayan, deadbatteries, deliciouslemons, denali_99755, disblfsuspender, diskothiq, dixmix, djayenzyme, djbits, djdoublejump, donutgirl, dosfart, dreams_of_rain, drfaust, duploguy, durundal, ecentromatic, eclaireassuch, eoin12345abc, explody, fallow, ferociouswalk, fhwqhgads, finalcut, fineprint, fisting_is_emo, flashlight___, flumelove, fuckall_yall, futuredave, gangsterlean, george_w_bush, georgy, ghostchildren, gimpyhtml, girlpulaski, grahamlovesdick, gummiboy, half_pint, haloform, handsomekenny, heartstack, heck, helloinsomnia, helloreplace, heroin__eyes, hititlikediz, horridtruth, hotcuppajoe, hounded, i_still_unravel, idiotequewords, iggadigga, indierokken, internetnoodles, itsanej, iusetheinternet, jackflaps, jaguarpixie, jeniac, jennheifer, jmmartin19, jnkvbk, jwgh, katura, kfan, kid_philosopher, kingdodongo, kingofthefrogs, kitchenette, la_soledad, lalalaini, larchman, layeredshapes, leahbunny, leeleebee31, likeanorchestra, lilybrooke, linzznil, livingluster, ljboom, longlines, loopbliss, losinginterest, lost_insolitude, lostinarden, lovenmitt, lovertits, mackstar34424, madflowr, magnadoodle, mail_a_knee, marginalutility, marijun, marty_mcfly, masked_barron, mattholimeau, melchapelle, mellidori, mellosonic, mercuryglass, millaniow, mini_rape, mobledqueen, moireach, moochiepop, mourningbelle, ...
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