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You can't move a mountain with a book of plans.

No more! No more sad clams!

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Name:
Very Rare Bear
Birthdate:
20 November 1981
Website:
External Services:
  • djswifty@livejournal.com
  • fourtrack hero
  • 285689054 ICQ status
This journal has become the number one site on Google for "adorable kittens." Please adjust your respect of me accordingly.
This is no longer true. I am crushed.
2/9/06: nightecho points out that I am again number one. I do not know how I can help to keep myself there, but while it is still true, I consider my life charmed.
1/10/08: This journal is both the fourth Google hit for "adorable kittens," and, now, for "you can't hold ten pokemon". I love being alive all the fucking time and that is a fact that you can cut and print.


"Stephen Swift was running for his life. 20 feet into the trees and he was completely lost. The ground was uneven and stony, and the tangle weed slowed him down everytime he thought he was clear. A bad step locked his foot under a root and he went down hard, bashing his elbow against a sharp rock. He laid still listening for movement, but only hearing the blood rushing thru his ears. He was bleeding. Sharp leaves had cut him as he ran, and now the cuts were stinging as his salty sweat made contact with the blood. He laid there for an hour to be sure. He sat up, and got a cramp in his leg. He forced it straight and stood up.

It was then he saw Captain Crunch. His body had been painted black and white like a skeleton. His eyes were bloodshot and fixed as he surveyed Stephen from behind his greasepaint. 'Kathryn asked me to bring you back safely.'

'Kathryn?' said Swifty, suddenly very relieved 'Oh thank ghod.'

The Captain performed minor first aid, putting Stephen's arm in a sling, and told him to follow as best he could. After an hour he asked, 'Captain, why are we heading deeper into the jungle? Shouldn't we go to the beach?'

'Captain?' said the Captain. 'My name is Joe.'
Swifty's blood froze in his veins."
- The Invincible John 13




The troll picks up an elven broadsword named Orcrist.

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     |\.^.........|                                      |...|#    |.......|
     |..[...%..(..|                                     #..<.|#   #........|
     |.....@.(=T".|                                   #%#-----#   #|.......|
     -----)--------                                   #       #   #---------
          #                                         ###       #   ##
          #                       --------------    #  [      #    #
          ###                   ##..............#####       # #    #
           ########?(=###       # |[..(........|             ##    #
            ##         -|--- #####.....>.....).|            ###    #
       - ----.----     |...| ##   |............|            #--.---#
       |..........     |....###   --------------            #|....|#
       |.........|    #..(.|#                               #|....|#
       |.........-#####|..^.#                               #|....|#
       -----------     -----                                #-.....#
                                                             ------


Swifty the Woman-at-arms    St:25 Dx:15 Co:18 In:8 Wi:13 Ch:7  Neutral
Dlvl:9  $:10474 HP:111(111) Pw:35(35) AC:-3 Xp:13/42927 Satiated Burdened



Projects
Destructo.org
Destructo (the game) FAQ
Polybius
The Tiny Media Empire
MC Copulation
Drunk at Prom

Haunt Me, Haunt Me, Do It Again
Flickr
43 Things
Audioscrobbler

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